With the Holidays coming up, many adult children will fly in for a few days to visit their aging parents for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas. The following is a true story.
Imagine that you get off the plane, get your bags off the carrousel and go find your Uber ride to Mom and Dad’s house. It’s 11:30PM when the car drops you off in front of their home. You get to the door and find that it’s locked, and you don’t have a key. You knock on the door and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait but no one comes to the door. You knock again, harder, louder, longer. You wait again but hear nothing inside. So, you call mom’s cell. She doesn’t answer. You call dad. No Answer. What on earth is happening? They knew you were coming! Panic sets in that something has happened to them. You are considering breaking a window to get in to find out what has happened to them when the door opens. It’s dad!
You are overjoyed that he is ok. He tells you it just takes him longer to get up and answer the door these days. You walk and find the house is a wreck. Garbage bags are piled up by the back door, the kitchen is a mess, piles of dirty dishes in the sink, to go cartons all over the counter and it smells horrible. You are in shock because mom and dad were always so clean, but you are exhausted from traveling all day. You tell dad goodnight (mom is still sound asleep) and go to the guest bedroom where you stay. You open the door to find piles of boxes stacked around the room. You let out a sigh of relief that at least the bed is cleared off and you can lie down. The disaster you just walked into can wait until morning.
What you find out in the morning is very common. Since you visited a year ago, mom and dad’s health has declined rapidly. They are in their 80’s now and can’t get around like they used to. They’ve been ordering take out meals because mom can’t stand at the stove and cook anymore. She uses a walker to get around. Dad can’t drive anymore. You find the car has been wrecked and his license was taken away 6 months ago when he rear-ended someone. No one was hurt but now he can’t go grocery shopping. They rely on friends or grocery and meal delivery services.
You also find out that neither of them has had a shower in about 6 months. Mom is very unsteady on her feet and is afraid she will slip in fall in the tub. Dad claims to have the same concern. Dad can’t carry the trash out to the garbage can. He left it at the road because it was too hard to pull out there when it was full. He had been putting the bag in the trunk of the car and driving it out there. Since he doesn’t drive anymore, he hasn’t taken trash out in quite a while.
By this time your head is spinning. You can’t stay more than a few days. You have a job and your own family to get home to. You could clean this up but then what? The answer is to call the experts at Assisting Hands Home Care-Sun City. They have the knowledge and experience to help you oversee your parent’s care and give you peace of mind that someone is there for them when you return home.
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This scenario happens more often than you would believe. The severity of the situation varies depending on the amount of time and the rate of decline in someone’s health. Our aging parents were taught that it’s not polite to discuss your health or personal issues in public and they are embarrassed when they can’t do for themselves any longer. There is no shame in asking for help.
If you live far from your parents and are concerned for their safety and well-being, let Assisting Hands Home Care-Sun City be your eyes and ears for you.
If you or an aging parent are considering in-home care, please call the caring staff at Assisting Hands Home Care serving Sun City, Sun City West, El Mirage, Surprise, Peoria, and surrounding areas. Call us at (602) 847-7117.
