Setting Healthy Boundaries When Your Parent Moves In – Houston Elder Care

Sometimes we have to make a decision to move an aging parent or another elderly family member into our home. It may be a necessity, or it may be a short-term solution if they’re recuperating from an illness or an injury. The ultimate goal is to help them in their rehabilitation and help them to return home able to deal with the tasks of daily living.

In some situations, it may be a long-term solution to an issue that is ongoing. The parent may have memory issues, or a chronic health issue, or they may simply require more care than they can receive when they are living alone. It may be that you have to try every option before you find the ideal solution.

Regardless of the situation, there are some things that you must do prior to their moving into your home in order to set healthy boundaries for everyone involved.

Here Are Some Issues To Consider

Before your loved one moves in you need to consider and discuss these issues.

Caregiving Expectations

It’s important to understand that just because your aging parents or an elderly family member is living with you, you aren’t the one that should have to shoulder all of the responsibility for caregiving. Your siblings should be helping with such things as taking your parent or elderly family member to and from appointments, picking up medications, and even some hands-on care. Your family needs to work together toward the ultimate goal of making everyone’s life easier in order for this living situation to work.

Private Spaces

If you don’t have an in-law suite, and few of us do, you’ll need to recognize that there is going to be some loss of privacy. Whenever possible, give everyone their own spaces and allow them some private time to retreat to their private spaces.

Don’t Quit Your Life

Don’t quit your own life for theirs. It’s vital and healthy for you and the remainder of the family to continue on with your own lives. Stay connected to your other family members and to your friends. Stay connected with social organizations that you’ve joined. It’s okay to take a vacation without your elderly family member. This will give everyone plenty of one-on-one time with each other, and the elderly family member can have special time with another relative while you’re gone. Consider an in-home caregiver as required for additional care. This can give you a break. Consider respite care with an assisted living facility.

Don’t Fall Into Negative Childhood Patterns

You’re an adult now and it’s easy to fall back into childhood patterns once you’re all living together again. You may find that you feel as if you need to ask for permission like you did as a child. Keep in mind that you’re still the head of the house and you are responsible for your own decisions. Set positive boundaries for everyone.

Discuss Budgets And Finances

If you grew up where money was never discussed, this one may be difficult. However, it’s vital that everyone understand the budget and how to stay within the budget. Long-term moves require modifications and some specifics on who pays for what. Some seniors may require more help than originally thought. Work together to explore options including senior living situations if need be.

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