Boy, this has been a tough 7 months

If you’re reading this at 11:23 p.m., after finally getting your mom settled for the night, after answering one more work email, after juggling family duties and helping your son finish his homework — this is for you.

You’ve been taking care of mom for the last 7 months following her stroke. It feels like both yesterday and forever ago. In the beginning, there was adrenaline. There were care plans, doctor’s appointments, daily check-ins, bringing extra meals, a steep learning curve you powered through because you had to. But adrenaline doesn’t last forever. And what’s left now is exhaustion that sleep doesn’t touch. A profound tiredness with a hint of helplessness and a touch of despair. 

Of course you love your mom — you are showing up daily for her. But the problem is bandwidth. Your job still needs you at full capacity. Your family still needs you to be present, not just physically in the room but actually there and managing the household. And for the last few months, your mom also has been needing you too, in ways that shift and grow every week. You are part of the “sandwich” generation, who is simultaneously taking care of their aging parents and growing children.

And then there’s the guilt. That quiet voice that shows up when you consider resting, or asking for help, or what about working out and keeping up with your own health? Not counting….  taking a vacation or a quick, lifesaver getaway?  How could I, when she needs me? That voice is persistent, but is it telling you the truth?

Here is the truth: You cannot pour from an empty cup. And your cup is now almost empty.

How Long Can You Keep This Up? What Will It Take to Be Healthy Again?

So here are the questions worth asking. How close to empty have you been running for the last months? How long can you keep this up without damaging your health and your relationships? And what would it take to fill that cup back again?

Millions of adult daughters are doing exactly what you’re doing right now — stretched between a parent’s care, a career, and a family, quietly wondering how much longer they can hold it all up. Caregiver burnout is real, it’s common, and it is not a sign of weakness or a lack of love. It’s a sign that you’re human, and that what you’re carrying is genuinely heavy.

Home Care Complements and Augments Your Loving Care

This is where Home Care shines. Home care offers non-medical services that family caregivers give their aging loved ones. Home Care does not replace you and your family. It complements your work, so that you are able to take care of your other career,  your family duties, and your health, knowing that mom (and dad) is taking care of you.

Here is how it works: bring in home care support just a couple of days a week for a few hours each time. You’d be surprised how rejuvenated you feel. That cup that was almost empty will get a chance to get filled again. Let’s fill your cup with some joy, some workouts, and a few great memories.

If getting a few hours of home care seems like something that makes sense, please give us a call and we’ll be happy to discuss how to bring you and your family peace of mind.

Inquire about how Assisting Hands can help

FAQ

What Is Caregiver Syndrome and Is It the Same as Caregiver Burnout?

For the most caring among us, it seems that the more you give, the more you feel you are not doing enough. If you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted by your weeks, months, and sometimes years of caregiving. Are the demands of caregiving increasing in depth and breadth? Are you the only or main person carrying the load? 

What on the list do you identify with? If more than 2 to 3 items apply to you below, you are experiencing caregiver syndrome, aka caregiver burnout.

✅ Constant tiredness….

✅ Feeling overwhelmed…

✅ Feelings of depression and anxiety…

✅ Anger or resentment toward the person you care…

✅ Pulling away from friends…

✅ Skipping your own doctor visits…

✅ Sleep problems…

✅Mood swings…

✅ Losing interest and joy in hobbies…

If this is you – be careful of your health. You are carrying a load that may be too heavy for you. If you are a critical resource to your loved one, one that your loved one depends on, it is very important that you recognize these symptoms and find ways to mitigate them.

Is It Normal to Feel Guilty as a Caregiver?  What Is Caregiver Guilt?

If it seems that regardless of how much of yourself you give, you can’t shake the feeling that you are not doing enough, you are dealing with caregiver guilt, a feeling of powerlessness at never doing enough. Guilt can also express itself in a myriad of other, insidious ways: holding yourself to unachievable standards, unwillingness to accept help, self-criticism, and comparing yourself to others.

If you recognize these traits in you, you may want to examine how to reduce your guilt.

This is because feelings of guilt are rarely productive. They do not make us better humans, nor do they make us better caregivers. Often, guilt is like carrying a heavy burden that pleases and helps no one. 

Here are a few tips on how to get rid of guilt:

• Have a look at your expectations about your ability to handle it all (see caregiver burnout above). Are you setting healthy and realistic boundaries for yourself and others?
• Find and cultivate what brings you joy. Ensure that you take some time for yourself. From reading a book or watching a movie to sharing a meal with a friend or going on a walk to gardening: little things can have a great impact. Do not neglect to have a few beautiful moments every week.
• Share the burden. If family members can’t help, you may be able to hire reliable help for respite care.

What Are the 4 Stages of Caregiver Burnout?

They are traditionally defined as: Warning, Control, Survival, and Burnout. It is important to understand and identify them so that you can prevent a full-on caregiver burnout. They will affect your physical health, your emotional stability, your personal needs, and your social life.

The symptoms of each stage are on a continuum, and you may experience some and not others. Pay close attention to each of the categories, how caregiving is affecting you, and the changes over time, so that you can balance your caregiving duties with your health.

 

How Much Does a Week of Temporary Senior Care Typically Cost?

It depends. It depends on the type of care that is needed for your loved one as well as the hours you need. Care typically starts in the mid-thirties per hour. The best is to talk with us for the best option available.

How Many Days of Respite Care Will Medicare Cover?

Medicare does not typically cover respite care, except in the case of Medicare GUIDE.

Start Addressing Caregiver Burnout in Murray, UT

A few hours of home care each week can give you back the space to breathe, work out, see your own doctor, or just sleep through the night — while mom still gets the attentive care she needs.

If you’re ready to stop pouring from an empty cup, let’s talk. You can get the support you and your family deserve with Assisting Hands of Greater Murray by following these simple steps:

1. Contact us or give us a call at 801-457-5710 to
2. Tell us about your situation & how our team can help
3. Start finding a respite care plan that fits your family’s rhythm.

Other Services Offered with Assisting Hands Home Care

The team at Assisting Hands Home Care is happy to offer support in a variety of ways, in addition to support for caregivers and their loved ones aging in place. We provide a full range of compassionate, professional in-home care services, including long-term care insurance advocacy, Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care, Parkinson’s Home Care, Stroke Recovery Home Care, and Orthopedic Home Care Services. We also provide Personal Care & Grooming, Meal Preparation, Light Housekeeping, and Grocery Shopping & Errands.

For families navigating life transitions, we offer Transitional Care, Hospice Support Services, and Coordination of Care services. We also proudly serve Veterans through our Veterans Aid & Assistance program, and offer Companionship and Fall Prevention services. Whatever your family’s needs look like, Assisting Hands is here to help. Explore our full list of services or contact us today for more helpful information!