When Mom and Dad’s lawn is overgrown, their mail remains unopened, and their fridge is near-empty, adult children have a cause for worry. They may offer to help. But elderly parents can be stubborn and refuse assistance. Here’s how to help the seniors who don’t want help.
It’s natural for adult children to fear for their aging parents’ safety and health when they show clear signs of physical or cognitive decline. The conversation for extra support at home should start right away rather than be delayed until a crisis occurs.
Starting the important discussion of a helping a hand is best done with empathy and understanding. Growing older can be a frightening experience, one many seniors do not fully comprehend. They navigate an obstacle course of physical impairments, mobility challenges, or dementia symptoms.
Older adults feel their independence erode when their adult children suggest a professional caregiver to help with daily activities. Their identity is closely intertwined with independence—which is threatened when families recommend extra help. As a result, seniors feel helpless, frustrated, and misunderstood.
By understanding the challenges seniors face regarding the aging process, adult children can approach the sensitive topic of support with compassion. Offer reassurance and validation so that the parents realize they are still valued even while experiencing disability or unpredictable health changes.
1. Look for Signs of Decline
Seniors may present clear signs indicating they need help at home. For example, unintended weight loss may reveal an issue with meal preparation. Perhaps they do not remember how to use a stove due to the onset of dementia or new mobility issues prevent them from shopping for groceries.
Self-neglect can manifest as poor hygiene. Wearing unwashed clothes, forgetting to shower, and unkempt hair are clear signs that the senior is having difficulty with keeping up with personal hygiene tasks. The parents may be suffering from loneliness, depression, or cognitive decline.
2. Assess the Situation
When it’s clear the parents need help in certain areas, they may still be able to perform many tasks independently. Assess the situation to determine how much outside help is necessary. Make note of whether their messy home is a habit or a sudden change triggered by declining health.
3. Express How Others are Affected
Elderly parents may not be persuaded to accept help when their lifestyle and behaviors affect only them. Adult children might, however, address how their smoking habit affects the grandchildren’s health. Or let them know that refusing help at home causes the entire family anxiety and worry.
4. Bring in a Professional
The adult children and the senior might consult the latter’s doctor for advice. If a healthcare professional recommends home care, the aging parents might be more willing to consider it. Seniors are more likely to listen to the advice of an objective third party rather than their own adult children.
In addition to the physician, the senior is likely to pay heed to a respected friend, neighbor, religious figure, or geriatric care manager. By enlisting the help of others, adult children show their concerns are valid and that the senior’s welfare is important to the family and community.
5. Provide Encouragement
Another way to convince seniors to accept help is by leveraging the swaying power of social events. When a family gathering is anticipated, the senior parents may wish to spruce up for the occasion. Wanting to look and feel their best, they may accept help from a home care provider.
6. Introduce Help Gradually
When parents won’t budge on accepting full-time help, they may consider assistance with minor tasks, at first. For instance, a home care provider might stop by two days a week to prepare and freeze healthy meals. Adult children may be available to drive the parents to a monthly doctor’s appointment.
By introducing help gradually, the parents are more likely to warm up to the idea of accepting further support down the road. Remember that sudden changes can be jarring to a senior’s habitual lifestyle and cause unnecessary discomfort and distress.
7. Include the Senior
Involve the senior in the home care process. For instance, encourage the parent to be present when a potential caregiver is being considered. Respect the seniors’ input regarding compatibility and comfort with the professional. Older adults should have the freedom to choose their caregiver.
8. Accept their Decision
Seniors have the right to make their own decisions, even if made poorly. When the elderly parents still refuse help, accept their choice. Adult children must continue to provide love and support. Perhaps their parents may eventually see the benefits of extra support and welcome a caregiver into their lives.
Aging parents may quickly warm up to a caregiver from Assisting Hands Home Care once they know we prioritize the health, safety, comfort and independence of older adults. Our elder home care providers not only deliver hands-on help with daily activities but advocate for the aging population.
Professional caregiver responsibilities include preparing healthy, delicious meals to ensure seniors maintain a healthy weight and consume enough nutrients. We shop for fresh groceries to keep the fridge and pantry stocked with nourishing options. Caregivers give timely medication reminders, too.
Care recipients receive safe transportation and escort to nearby areas, like the doctor’s office or pharmacy. We perform light housekeeping to maintain a clean, comfortable home. Caregivers also remove clutter and other fall hazards to prevent falls and subsequent injuries.
Non-medical care options are numerous and varied. We provide compassionate Alzheimer’s and dementia care, respite care, and overnight care, among many other flexible services. Our caregivers are also great companions who deter social isolation and loneliness in our care recipients
Once the parents experience quality senior care from Assisting Hands Home Care, their health and well-being are likely to improve. We serve the aging population in Hollywood, Florida. Schedule a free in-home consult today and learn how elderly home care promotes independence and quality of life.
