Caring for an elderly parent is a challenging responsibility for any family, but for an only child, it can feel overwhelming. Without the support of siblings to share the demands of senior care, the burden often falls entirely on one person, creating immense pressure.
Managing a parent’s care alone can take a significant toll on an adult child’s health, emotional well-being, and career. Feelings of exhaustion and stress are common, often accompanied by reduced work opportunities and a shrinking social network. Balancing these responsibilities single-handedly can be an isolating and daunting experience. However, caring for senior parents as an only child does have a couple of advantages as you have the power to make decisions without input from siblings and you will not experience the conflicts and emotions that can occur between siblings in these situations.
Regardless of the situation, it takes an immense effort to effectively care for senior parents, which is difficult to do alone. In this guide, we share tips that can help only children take great care of their elderly parents and ensure their safety and well-being.
Plan Ahead
The most important step you can take to ensure that you provide excellent care for your senior parents is to start planning before they need care and assistance. Talk to your parents about their preferences for late in life care, including where they want to receive care and who they want to care for them. Discussing their current health can help you anticipate problems they may have in the future and determine the type of care they may need.
In the planning, you should also talk to your parents about important paperwork such as wills, power of attorney, and healthcare directives, and take the opportunity to form a plan to manage their finances.
These may be difficult or sensitive subjects to talk about with your elderly parents, but it is best to have these conversations while they are heathy and capable so they can have a say in the care they receive, and you can have a care plan in place that you can quickly implement when the time comes.
Look for Signs That Care is Needed
Seniors can sometimes be resistant to accepting care and assistance and may not be forthcoming when they reach a point where care is necessary. As an only child, it is your responsibility to regularly communicate and visit with your loved ones so you can watch for signs that they need help.
You should look for the following signs that it may be time to provide care:
- Decline in personal hygiene
- Bills that are passed due
- Messy home
- Cluttered areas
- Scorch marks on pots and pans indicating unattended cooking
- Dents and scratches on vehicles indicating poor driving
If you notice any of these signs, you should talk to your loved ones about starting care.
Use FMLA Benefits
In recent years, family caregivers tasked with the responsibility of solely caring for an elderly parent have seen some workplace support. Currently, six states offer paid family leave benefits, while others allow employees to take unpaid time off to fulfill caregiving duties.
In Illinois, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) permits workers to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave to care for a parent. However, the major drawback is the financial strain—caregivers must forgo income at a time when finances are often stretched thin to support their loved ones.
The Illinois Family and Medical Leave Insurance Act presents a more practical solution. This legislation provides employees, regardless of company size, with 12 weeks of partially paid leave for FMLA-qualifying reasons. These 12 weeks give you time to create a sustainable care plan for your senior parents while alleviating some of the financial burden.
Establish a Support System
Some caregivers, especially those without siblings to share responsibility, often rely on the invaluable support of a willing spouse. This assistance becomes even more crucial when the primary caregiver needs to continue working for financial reasons. A supportive partner can help divide the responsibilities of elder care, creating a more balanced approach.
In addition to spousal help, building a reliable support network is essential for only children to maintain balance. You might consider seeking assistance from your parents’ friends or neighbors. These individuals can offer emotional support, provide transportation for errands like grocery shopping, or help with tasks such as mowing the lawn.
Parents who are active in a faith-based organization often have an existing social network that you can tap into. Faith communities can offer fellowship, prepare meals, and provide encouragement, helping seniors maintain a sense of connection and hope.
Faith-based care services also play a critical role, offering a wide range of programs tailored to the needs of seniors. These services may include memory care, hospice care, and assisted living. Beyond spiritual support, such organizations often provide social and physical activities, fostering a well-rounded approach to senior care. You should not overlook the value of these programs, as they can be a cornerstone in enhancing the quality of life for your loved ones.
Utilize Local Aging Programs
The Illinois Department of Aging provides invaluable resources to support family caregivers who care for their elderly parents. One such program, Choices for Care, helps seniors and their families explore a wide range of home- and community-based services tailored to their needs.
For solo caregivers of aging, low-income parents, the Illinois Volunteer Money Management Demonstration Program offers critical financial assistance. Through this program, trained volunteers help seniors manage their finances by reviewing and paying bills, managing monthly benefits, and even intervening with creditors when needed.
Caregivers can also take advantage of the Residential Repair & Modification Program, designed to improve home safety for elderly individuals. These renovations aim to make daily activities such as bathing, cooking, and navigating stairs safer and more accessible for aging parents.
For example, modifications like installing grab bars and shower benches in the bathroom, replacing traditional faucets with lever handles, adding handrails along stairways, or building ramps for easier home access can significantly enhance the safety and comfort of seniors. These updates offer peace of mind to caregivers, especially for those managing care as an only child.
Establish Boundaries
One of the challenges of being an only child taking care of senior parents is the immense pressure and expectations that may be self-inflicted or put on you by your parents. No matter how much their care needs increase, your parents may expect you to handle every need that arises. Providing full-time care for your loved ones can take time away from your own personal life and prevent you from focusing on your physical and mental health.
It is important for you to set boundaries with your senior parents as early as possible to avoid burnout and manage your own health and personal matters. These boundaries may include designated time away from caregiving as well as establishing the care tasks you are willing to do and tasks you would rather pass on to another family member, friend, or professional caregiver. Setting clear boundaries will help you take better care of your senior parents as you will have time to focus on yourself, rest, and recharge.
Hire Respite Care
Only child caregivers can find much-needed relief through respite care. Taking a break from caregiving responsibilities can help rejuvenate your energy, refresh your perspective, and allow you to return to your elderly parents with renewed focus and enthusiasm.
Respite care offers flexibility, catering to your unique schedule or needs. It could involve a friend or relative stepping in for a few hours while you run errands, work out, or simply take some personal time. Alternatively, respite care can be arranged for longer durations, such as a full day, an entire weekend, or even a two-week getaway.
When friends or family aren’t available, professional respite care services from in-home elder care agencies can provide reliable support. These trained professionals take over caregiving duties, ensuring the elderly parent receives proper care while you rest, recharge, or attend to other priorities.
One of the greatest advantages of respite care is its adaptability. It’s not only a planned solution but also a critical option during emergencies. For example, if you fall ill, respite care can step in immediately, providing continuity of care until you recover and are ready to resume your responsibilities.
Respite care is more than a service, it’s a lifeline for family caregivers, offering balance, support, and peace of mind.
Elderly Care from Assisting Hands Home Care
Taking frequent breaks from caregiving is essential for maintaining balance, preventing burnout, and reducing both physical and emotional stress. At Assisting Hands Home Care, we provide compassionate in-home care to support primary caregivers and their loved ones, ensuring everyone’s well-being.
Our in-home respite care services benefit not only elderly parents but also family caregivers. Caregivers experience reduced stress, better sleep, renewed energy, and a decreased risk of depression. Plus, they gain valuable time to focus on their immediate families and personal needs.
Don’t let sleepless nights or mounting stress take a toll on your mental health. Rely on the trusted professionals at Assisting Hands Home Care. Our licensed, insured, and bonded caregivers offer peace of mind while providing reliable, high-quality respite care.
Caregiving, especially as an only child, can feel like a full-time responsibility. Like any demanding role, regular breaks are necessary to stay healthy and effective. With Assisting Hands Home Care, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Our skilled and compassionate caregivers are just a call away, ready to step in and lighten your load whenever you need relief.
Families in the surrounding communities of Hinsdale, Burr Ridge, Darien, Downers Grove, La Grange, Oak Brook, Western Springs, Illinois and DuPage and Cook counties, rely on Assisting Hands Home Care for our dependable elderly care services. We will set up an in-home consultation and customize a fitting care plan to meet your loved one’s needs. Call us at (630) 407-1932 .
