It’s not at all uncommon to run into some friction and frustration when coaching a loved one through the process of securing home care or to feel unsteady when researching for yourself! In these moments, whatever your prerogative is when it comes to aging or circumventing life’s difficult changes, it’s important to remember that oftentimes, the stability, comfort, and relief that we are searching for lies just beyond moments of uncertainty.

Like many aspects of life, it’s imperative to understand the why. When we understand why someone is feeling or reacting a certain way, we are empowered to set aside frustrations and engage in meaningful, compassionate conversation.

When Dr. Lee A. Lindquist, a geriatrician at Northwestern Medicine conducted a small study among participants, ages 65+ she unveiled 4 key reasons why some resist the idea of home care: 1) fear of losing independence 2) desire to not be a burden 3) lack of trust and 4) fear of giving up control. All completely understandable!

When we truly take a step back and take stock of why our loved ones feel the way they do, we can shift the conversation in a direction that not only addresses their concerns but also reframes home care as the solution to those very feelings.

Let’s break it down.

1.     Fear of Losing Independence

Many older adults feel that the moment they accept an extra set of hands for help is the moment they lose the ability to do for themselves, which simply is not true!

Dr. Linquist suggests folks work to reframe their definition of independence and instead lean on interdependence. Interdependence strikes a balance between relying on yourself and others. It recognizes that there is value in partnership and often, interdependence allows one to accomplish far more than they could independently. After all, it takes a village, doesn’t it?

2.     Desire to not be a burden

Noone wants to feel like they’re putting someone else out by asking for help. Remind your loved one that caregiving is not just a job— it’s a calling. People who dedicate themselves to this profession do so because they are passionate about helping others. Older adults aren’t hindering anything or anyone by accepting help in their homes; in fact, it’s quite the opposite. At Assisting Hands, it’s an honor to provide care to our clients and we are grateful for the opportunity to make a meaningful difference in the lives of those who trust us to care for them.

3.     Lack of trust

Trust is the bedrock of all relationships – familial and otherwise. For many, inviting someone new into their home can feel daunting and cumbersome. It’s important to validate these concerns and provide reassurance when having these conversations. Make sure you involve your loved one in the decision making process in an effort to address and understand their specific concerns. One of the most important things you can do in any relationship is to make one another feel heard and understood.

Additionally, remind them that reputable agencies, like Assisting Hands, undergo rigorous background checks, training processes, and certifications to ensure caregivers are both skilled and compassionate. Knowing the caregiver they would be accepting into their home is qualified, trustworthy, and truly caring could make a world of difference.

4.     Fear of giving up control

Reframing our thoughts and how we convey them remains key here! By allowing a caregiver into their home, older adults take BACK control. Caregivers enable clients to stay in the home they love, maintain their health and continue daily routines with ease. Accepting a caregiver isn’t about giving up control, it’s about investing in one’s own health and well-being. With an extra set of Assisting Hands, they can focus on what really matters— living happily and healthy at home.

We know these conversations may not be easy, but they are worthwhile. Pushing ourselves past discomfort can lead us to a place where that same stability, comfort, and relief mentioned earlier, is within reach.

Home care is not the end of independence or control, it’s the cornerstone where aging in place with dignity, health and happiness intact isn’t just a hope, but a tangible reality.

Author: Jacquelene Rodriguez