For one reason or another, siblings often have differences of opinion regarding their elderly parent’s care. In most families, navigating elder care decisions starts with the primary caregiver, usually the oldest daughter or the sibling who lives nearest to the parent. When it comes to making crucial decisions on Mom or Dad’s behalf, it’s easy for each sibling to think they know what’s best. But not everyone can be right. Using these tips will help minimize sibling tension and ensure your parent’s wishes are honored when that inevitable day arrives.
Prepare with Cooperation in Mind
It’s common for sibling rivalries to resurface when coordinating care for an aging parent. Ideally, you’ve had conversations with your parent about how they want their needs met during their later years. They’ve hopefully designated durable powers of attorney for both health care and finances, prepared a will, and finalized other end-of-life plans.
If so, it’s best if all siblings know about these final preparations and agree as to what those wishes entail. Why is this important? Because taking care of elderly parents is typically a family affair. If possible, hold a civil family meeting where grievances can be aired, and your parent’s care needs to be discussed. In cases when one or more siblings are not “on board,” the family is forced to resort to “Plan B”.
How to Get Siblings on Board with Caregiving
Families with deep-rooted differences may be initially unable to agree on Mom or Dad’s care. If that describes your family, here are some strategies you can use to get everyone on the same page:
Geriatric Care Manager
When uncooperative siblings are unable or unwilling to agree on a plan of care, hiring a geriatric care manager (GCM) is a viable option. These eldercare professionals are often nurses or social workers who specialize in assessing a senior’s needs and coordinating the necessary care and resources.
Although GCMs do not directly provide care, their expertise lies in creating an effective care plan and managing all aspects of it – whether that care is provided by informal caregivers or paid healthcare professionals.
Family Counseling
Counseling sessions are always a viable strategy when siblings are willing to work on their relationships for the sake of their parents. While using different therapeutic methods, a licensed family therapist can be a social worker, psychologist, or other mental health professional.
As an objective third party, they can frame the conversation and keep the dialogue civil, ultimately helping families work through the challenges often associated with an elderly parent’s care. If all parties are willing to put in the time and effort, family counseling should be the first step when resolving underlying issues.
Eldercare Mediation
Sadly, many family relationships have deteriorated beyond the point of repair and cooperation. As impartial problem-solvers, eldercare mediators are experts at resolving conflict and orchestrating negotiations between contested parties.
Rather than telling families what to do, an eldercare mediator helps people see things differently and guides them to reach their own negotiated agreements. Mediation can help save untold stress and grief by preventing disagreements from boiling over into harmful actions such as lawsuits and guardianship petitions.
If you need help locating a mediator who specializes in eldercare issues, check your local court system, or visit Mediate.com.
Your Trustworthy In-Home Eldercare Provider in Bedford, MA
Keeping an aging parent safe and comfortable once you’ve all agreed to start home care can be challenging. At Assisting Hands Home Care, our professional in-home senior care services allow clients in Bedford, MA, and the greater Boston Northwest area to remain safely and comfortably in their own homes. Our trained, dependable caregivers and personal assistants can help your family overcome its eldercare challenges while making your loved one’s home an even better place to be.
Our turnkey home care services include everything from companionship, meal preparation, medication reminders, and transportation to light housekeeping, laundry, and personal care assistance with bathing and dressing. Our customized in-home solutions have covered your family from a few hours a day to around-the-clock care. Click here to learn more about Assisting Hands Home Care or schedule a free consultation for a senior in Bedford, MA, and Northwest Boston.
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